International Biscuitry

Hello World.

Welcome to what will hopefully be the first of many posts from the National Biscuit Review's international reporter. I know this effectively voids the title, but consider this feature the tea into which a biscuit is dunked. It's not an integral part of the pursuit of biscuitry, but it brings another dimension to it that many of us find we cannot do without.

Firstly, some background. I am a kiwi, born and raised. I've dunked my fair share of biscuits into an equally fair number cups of tea, coffee, or milo. When I was a child, I used to dunk my gingernuts into a glass of juice. Now, however, I reside in a country not known for their tea drinking. And when biscuits are dunked, it is more likely to be into a cup of gravy rather than any other liquid. That's right, I've moved to the United States of America.

My first task, as appointed by editor-at-large Michael You, is to review the American biscuit. This is no easy feat, because the American biscuit is as nuanced as the kiwi biscuit. There are many ideas on what the perfect biscuit should be, and as many brands to suit these needs. But first let us define the American biscuit.

By now, most New Zealanders are aware that the American biscuit is similar to our scone. It is a doughy puck, oozing with butter, and begging to slathered in gravy or all manner of things that will clog your arteries. It can be an accompaniment to a meal, a container for a meal, or a meal unto itself. It can have both sweet and savoury applications. It can be prepared in the same manner as a drop scone or folded like delicate puff pastry. And most importantly of all, it is delicious.

In respect to attempting to review the most generic of the American biscuit, I have chosen the Pillsbury brand. This seems to be the standard pre-made biscuit dough that many Americans choose to use.

Let's get down to it.

Firstly, this packet of biscuits cost me roughly $3.66 NZD (including sales tax, excluding exchange fees).

I don't know if you've seen the episode of Mythbusters where they put a few packages of biscuits in a hot car to see if they would explode. If you had, you'd be familiar with the idea that biscuit packaging is pressurized. To open a packet of biscuits, they recommend you use a spoon to split the seam of the cardboard tube which creates a satisfying "pop".

Inside you will see what appears to be a log of dough, however with a touch of delicate plying and prying eight biscuits will separate themselves.

 In regards to durability, supplying the dough as opposed to the finished product means these biscuits are highly durable. There are no crumbs to speak of.

Simply place these overgrown coasters onto a baking sheet and into a preheated oven set at 350ºF/177ºC for 14 -17 minutes and out come "the most amazing", light, pillowy, buttery, flaky biscuits one could hope to devour.

Forget your comparisons to scones. As you can see below, these are nothing like your nana's scones.

The texture and mouth feel of these biscuits are far less crumbly than your average scone. They melt in your mouth, and flake apart at the lightest tug.

As far as dunking goes, I didn't have any ingredients to make gravy on hand, so I had a go at dunking in a cup of coffee...

Let's just say that this was not the best liquid to have used in the dunking of this biscuit. As I mentioned before, though, biscuits don't just lend themselves to savoury applications, they are quite tasty with a spot of jam (and some whipped cream, I could imagine).

I am quite smitten with American biscuits, and should you ever have the opportunity to get your hands on some, grab a fistful!

Durability: 10/10
Dunkability: 2/10
Crumbliness: 1/10
Flavour: 10/10
Price: 4/10

Total: 27/50. Flavourful, not-so-dunkable.