Gingernut, and an intro to the Biscuit Power Rankings

I have a major issue that deliciously irks me every day of my life. I am a biscuit fanatic. The reason I started this blog is to write about biscuits, and you know that an addiction becomes a real problem when you actively seek an outlet to talk about your addiction, with no intention of breaking the habit.  This blog is dedicated to the most versatile snack food in the world. Welcome to the National Biscuit Review.

So why Review? What's so important about reviewing biscuits? Well, you could say this blog is about as trivial as reviewing showers in different people's homes, but you could also say that this blog delivers first and foremost, sound, well researched consumer advice. You could also say that we at the National Biscuit Review are committed to pushing the biscuit industry to make better products.

Ranking and reviewing biscuits takes massive pseudoscience. For quick reference, my workmates and I have devised the following rating scale. Each category carries a weighting of 1/5, with a maximum score of 50 for a fully satisfying biscuit. However, for clarity, and to account for the fact that different biscuits serve difference purposes, each rating will carry a bias according to the category in which they scored the highest. For Scotch Finger will score highly on Dunkability, but may fall short on Durability - you will be able to tell that it is a favourably a dunkable, but not particularly durable biscuit. Here's the lingo explained;

Durability: Biscuit durability relies on several factors. First and foremost, is the biscuit easy to break? Do any biscuits arrive already broken inside the packet? Can you open the packet without breaking any biscuits?

Dunkability (Or Dunk-stability): How delicious is the biscuit when dunked into a beverage? Closely related to durabiltiy and crumbliness.

Crumbliness: Differentiated from durability as it takes into account how crumbly the biscuit is when bitten. Have you ever accidentally broken a Tim-Tam by just handling it? Have you ever commented on how hard a Tim-Tam biscuit is? Thought not.

Flavour: Probably the most difficult to rank as it is the most subjective, but if Simon Gault can unreservedly comment on food (given he's a food expert), on his TV show, surely we at National Biscuit Review can make a comment on how good a biscuit tastes.

Price (Actual real science, wow!): Two fiddy. No, actually most biscuits that we buy at NBR cost about $2.50 a packet...more on this in a later post.

So now with that in mind, let's get down to the nitty gritty.

Gingernut

Trent Reginald eager to break into the Gingernuts

Supplied in New Zealand by a wide range of manufacturers. The NBR editorial team prefers Arnott's brand Gingernuts

If it were up to me, I would replace the standard definition for "bickie" to "a delicious, dunkable, forever versatile, ginger flavoured biscuit" - to many people around the English speaking world, the colloquial "tea and bickie" denotes the popular Gingernut biscuit - to be served alongside a nice hot mug of hot tea. There is something about the texture and the smooth, yet surprisingly sharp aftertaste really makes this biscuit one of the greatest dunking biscuits of all time.

The biscuit itself is extremely durable. As a child, my first experience with the gingernut biscuit was an awful one - not knowing what they were upon finding a half empty packet in the pantry, I took one and bit into it eagerly. My more sensitive and pickier palette immediately rejected the biscuit, as did my half baby, half adult teeth. Nowadays though I find logic in why gingernuts are so hardy, which brings us onto our next rating.

The Gingernut is perhaps the most dunkable biscuit on the market today. Completely dunk stable, I have never had a ginger nut disappear into a cup of tea on me. Ever. We prefer the Arnott's brand because they seem to have just the right amount of tea retention combined with the right texture when you bite in. We reckon soaking time can vary between 1-3 seconds depending on how soft you want your biscuit to be.

Gingernuts are "tough bickies" - even though they come tightly packed in thin plastic, you'd struggle to break them simply by opening the packet. That said, however, really fresh gingernuts can be quite brittle, so don't drop your precious packet unless you're okay with nice, round gingernuts becoming random sharp ginger shapes. Not good.

Final Verdict;

Durability: 8/10
Dunkability: 10/10
Crumbliness: 5/10
Flavour: 9/10
Price: On special at Countdown for $2.50 a packet. You get a huge amount biscuits too (28!! That's 9 cents a biscuit!!) so 10/10

Total: 42/50, high dunkable.

Verdict: Highly recommended.

-Michael You
Editor-at-large